


Raise Your Hand If You Want Frank Out Of The Band

by PlanetDynamite



Category: My Chemical Romance, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance (Album)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Friendship to Lovers, M/M, admitting love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 19:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20840576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlanetDynamite/pseuds/PlanetDynamite
Summary: Gerard Way is an actual asshole. Frank is depressed.





	Raise Your Hand If You Want Frank Out Of The Band

Another day, another practice. My Chemical Romance is on the way to make it big. After their release of _I Brought You My Bullets You Brought Me Your Love_, Frank joined the band. This specifically was not agreed upon by every member.

Gerard, at first, was excited to get a new member, but now as time has gone on, he regrets it. Dearly. Frank seems to always be in his own world. He doesn’t care what others think, and he sure as hell doesn’t think before he does anything. Gerard despises it. 

They are practicing _You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison_, preparing for the new album and tour coming up. Frank is getting into it, his guitar in his lap, his head nodding and knee bobbing. Gerard found it distracting, so he made it known.

He stops the song, “Stop, stop, stop! Frank you’re fucking distracting. Stop bouncing your leg, it’s not even in rhythm,” he hisses. 

Ray sighs, wanting to keep the peace. He glares at Gerard. Frank scoffs, looking to his bandmates, who were rolling their eyes at the lead singer. Mikey gives him an apologetic glance, a sad smile. 

“From the top,” Gerard commands, “One, two, three, four!”

-

The next show, Frank has his usual energy. He totally loses himself in the music. He only messed up a couple riffs, but it’s understandable when you take into account how violently he was thrashing on stage. Gerard glared at him, singing _Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us_ and prancing to his side of the stage. Frank paid no attention to him, continuing to shred on his guitar. When the bridge kicks in, Gerard got behind Frank. Frank didn’t realize it, and he backed up right into Gerard. 

Gerard shoved him in the back of the head, dropping the mic. Frank retaliated, stopped playing his part, and shoved back, shouting at him. 

Gerard is annoyed, kicking at Frank’s legs and spraining his knee. Frank didn’t do anything more than stand in place and bop along a little to the rest of the set. It took everything within him to not bust into tears. He was humiliated in front of everyone. He was heartbroken. 

Gerard is so fucking mean for no reason. He has no idea what he did to him to deserve this. He has hardly even said 50 words total to him. They have never had a real conversation. Gerard doesn’t even know Frank well at all. 

Frank is silent the rest of the night. He picked up his equipment, and his only. He walked home, chain smoking cigarettes to _feel_ something. Anything. 

-

Frank leaves practice, his energy completely depleted. He’s exhausted and sick of being mistreated. He’s beginning to think joining the band was a mistake. He’s emotionally destroyed. He got evicted recently, which he kept to himself. He didn’t tell anyone in the band- he didn’t want their pity. Due to that, he’s back on his mom’s couch. Not that she’s around much anyway. She doesn’t care about him. 

She hates his music. She hates her job. She hates the fact that she can’t seem to get rid of him. It’s whatever, though. Frank can deal. 

His friend Isaac has been ignoring him for weeks. He’s been officially MIA for nearly a month now. Frank contacted his brother, but all the information he received was that he’s fine, and he doesn’t want to talk to Frank. 

Sometimes, it felt like he had no one. It was true. Emotionally, he had been destroyed over and over again. 

My Chem was set to practice in two days time. 

-

The next day, Frank got in contact with Isaac. He wishes he hadn’t bothered trying again. He was told something along the lines of:

“Can’t you take a hint? I don’t want to fucking talk to you. I don’t want to be near you. I fucking despise you.”

Frank doesn’t even know what he did. All he can feel is the deep hollowness in the pit of his chest. 

He’ll live. It hurts, but he will live.

He called Ray shortly after to see if he wanted to hang out and get pizza. He couldn’t. Frank accepted it.

Another night alone, doing nothing but idly stroking the guitar.

-

At the practice, Frank tried to keep his head down. He doesn’t want any interaction with Gerard. He wants in and back out. Mikey, Ray, and Bob were always casual with him. He didn’t feel up to it tonight, however. 

He spaced off in the middle of a song, apologized. They practiced the fingerings and rhythm over and over. Gerard is getting pissy about something. Frank doesn’t want to pay attention. He tuned out his spitting of curses and general prissiness. Mikey and him left the room at one point to talk, only to come back a few minutes later. 

Frank messes up in the middle of a song again, and Gerard huffs.

“Get it together, Frank. The album drops next week and tour starts the week after.”

“Gerard-” Mikey hisses.

Gerard ignores him, “One, two, three, four!”

They start from the top. 

Frank felt hollow. His bones ached, he wanted to go home. As much as he despised his couch, he wanted to go back and hide under the blankets he cherishes. 

He messes up again, his fingers slip. You could barely even hear it, but Gerard just has a bone to constantly pick with Frank.

“God damnit, Frank! I’m so sick of you.” He screams. He wrings his hands and covers his face. “Okay, raise your hand if you want Frank out of the band!” He scoffed proudly, raising his hand high above his head.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Gerard,” Ray spits. 

Frank tosses his guitar on the ratty couch in the studio, leaving the room, his heart dragging along at his feet. He tries to conceal the whimpers in the back of his throat, but once he rounds the corner, he can’t hold it back. He collapses against the wall and heaves, sobbing into the sleeve of his sweater. 

He keeps repeating over and over, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Never in his life had he felt so worthless. His head is constantly ringing about how awful he is. Over and over again he listens to the chaos, telling him he has no value. No importance. No one loves him, and no one cares. He’s alone.

He hears muffled yelling from the studio down the hall and ignores it. His head is buried in his elbows, propped on his knees. 

He doesn’t bother looking up when he hears footsteps approaching. Whoever it is sits down next to him so there’s barely any room between them.

“So, I have to apologize.” Gerard scoffs, too pompous for his own good. Frank sniffles, keeping his head down. He doesn’t say anything. “I know we… haven’t really spoken much. I think we got off on the wrong foot, or something. You know, I don’t hate you exactly.”

“Could’ve fooled me, you fucking asshole,” Frank spat. 

Gerard was silent for a moment, “You know I’m trying, alright.” 

Frank flings his head back until it thumps against the wall and he starts laughing. “You haven’t tried for a fucking mere minute. If you would’ve tried, you would have gotten to know me.” He snaps completely, deciding maybe he should just reveal everything. “I haven’t been given a single fucking chance since the moment I met you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you never wanted me in the band to begin with. You know I loved you guys, and you have made me hate everything I barely have left to like about myself.”

“Music?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“What do you mean last thing you have left?”

“I lost my apartment. I lost my friends. My mother isn’t around anymore. I have no one, and the only thing I love anymore is music, but you’re making me hate myself and music and everything good I have left, Gerard. I don’t even know what I d-did to you,” Frank rushes out. He starts crying again and buries his face back into his arms.

Gerard places a tentative hand on his shoulder, “I had no idea-”

“Of course you didn’t!” Frank rasps. 

Gerard’s heart sinks. He feels like a real asshole now, as he should. He cautiously wraps his arms around Frank as he sobs.

“I- I’m sorry, Frank. I had no idea. If I could go back and start over, I would.” 

Frank leans away from Gerard, “Do everyone a favor and start now.” 

“I will, Frank. I’ll prove it to you. I’ll be better…” He means it. “I swear. You can go home for today-”

“I don’t have a home anymore Gerard! I have a couch and a blanket.”

“I’m sorry… I… I know we always preach about taking care of yourself and that you aren’t ever alone. I know the messages we send out to the people listen to our music,” tears escape Gerard’s eyes. “I… I need to do better.” It’s no secret Gerard has been drinking heavily lately. Still, it’s no excuse. “I have- well, I have a spare room in my apartment. I know we leave for tour in a couple weeks. You can stay there until then and even after if you want- just let me do this for you okay?”

Frank wipes his eyes, “I don’t belong anywhere-”

“You do belong with us… Our songs wouldn’t be the same without you, and I know that. I’m just a short-tempered asshole. Please let me do this for you Frank.” Frank looks Gerard in the eyes, teary and unfocused. 

“Okay,” Frank whispers. 

-

**Two Months Later**

Frank is drunk. Hella fucking drunk. Stupid drunk. He already threw up twice, and now he’s ready to wind down. They’re on tour after releasing _Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge_, and they are causing a (metaphorical) riot. 

People love them. 

Gerard hates himself, so he drinks. 

Frank hates himself, so he drinks. 

Gerard didn’t drink tonight though. He slinked back to the bus after meeting a few fans. The weight of his depression is heavy on his chest tonight. The rest of the guys went out while he stayed in his bunk, contemplating important things. Contemplating life.

Before he knew it, he was sobbing. Dry and loud heaves of despair left his lungs against his pillow. He has no idea when anyone will be back, and he loses time quickly.

Frank is swaying back and forth, making his way back to the bus early. He steps on quietly, stifling a drunken giggle. After getting on, he hears the quiet sobs from the bunks. 

“Ooohhshiiiit,” he whispers. He goes to the bunks, knowing it’s coming from Gerard’s bunk. He budges his way to the curtains, rustles it a bit, and climbs in.

“Frank, ow, what the fuck,” Gerard gasps, “Go away, please.”

“Nope,” he replies, popping the P. “You listened t’me bitch all those weeks ago, now I’m here. I owed you one for sleepin’ on the couch.” He pushes Gerard all the way to the wall and slips an arm around his waist. 

“‘M not talking,” he grunts, sniffling as stubbornly as he can. 

“Tha’s okay Gerard,” Frank sighs, spooning Gerard and throwing the blankets over themselves. “I’m here if ya wanna talk. You’re warm ‘n cuddly.” Frank giggles, nuzzling the back of his neck.

Gerard scoffs, “You’re hammered.”

“I know. But you’re sad, so Frank help.”

“Okay Frank,” Gerard wipes at the snot pooling at the tip of his nose, “Okay.”

Moments later, Frank’s breathing slows and he is fast asleep. Gerard, despite all of his best efforts to not be, was comfortable. 

The problem to begin with was Gerard wanting intimacy. He wanted to feel loved. It isn’t just sex, although he wouldn’t complain, but it was more the fact he wanted to feel human. At this point, all he wanted was a hug. There was an ache in his chest, and he could physically feel how much he needed human contact. Whether it is platonic, friendly, or romantic, he wanted _something_. He just wanted to feel like someone cared deep down. 

Gerard knows he is deprived of basic intimacy. It wasn’t until Frank was cuddling him that he realized just how deprived he is of human contact. So, here he is, basking in the feeling of a warm body pressed against his back. He feels safe, despite there being no danger. Frank is warm, his arm heavy on Gerard’s side grounded him to reality. He doesn’t want to fall asleep. He wants to stay awake so he can feel it longer.

Unfortunately, not even ten minutes later, he was out cold. 

-

Gerard woke up to violent shaking on the side Frank was supposed to be curled around him. Wiggling himself to turn around, he sees that Frank is shivering, panting, and crying. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, scared and helpless whimpers leave his body. 

“Hey, Frankie, hey,” he coos, scrambling to get his arms around him and cradle his head. “Frank, it’s just a dream,” he says softly, petting the sweaty hair sticking to his face. 

Frank gasps as he becomes conscious, eyes wide and teary. His breathing quickens before slows and relaxes into Gerard’s hold again. 

“‘s just a nightmare,” Gerard says, stroking his face and cuddling him to his chest.

“Fuck,” Frank sighs, “I- I always get nightmares when I drink too much.” His breathing is shaky, and he turned into Gerard’s side. He whispered something into his shoulder.

“I didn’t catch that.”

“I said I owe you again,” he frowns.

“Owe me?”

“Yeah I- well, I owed you last night so I listened to you… I owe everyone everything, I guess. I feel so selfish.”

“There’s nothing selfish about taking care of yourself or asking for help Frank… I wish you would more,” he got comfortable again, pulling Frank against his chest. 

“I can’t. I just can’t.”

“Frankie, if anyone owes anyone anything right now, I owe you.” His chest rumbles. He wraps his arms tighter around Frank, his palms on his back.

Frank is relaxed now, listening to the low hum of his chest. Ray is snoring in the bunk above them, and he briefly wonders if he knows they are together in Gerard’s bunk. Doesn’t matter. He is comfortable against Gerard. The blankets are kinda rough, but he’s glad he’s not alone. 

“Frank, I have something to tell you,” Gerard whispers, the silence deafening him. His blood is rushing in his ears, nerves prickling at his fingertips as he itches to get the words out of his mouth. 

Frank nuzzles his chest, nodding.

“I was wrong about you when I first met you. I thought… I thought you were a jerk. I judged you by your mannerisms. I realize now that you are… one of the most down-to-earth guys I have ever met. You deserve so much in life. Happiness, success, content… love.”

Frank sniffled against him, tears sliding down his nose and cheeks. 

“You deserve so much more than you think you do.”

Frank sits up abruptly, wiping his tears and snot away. Gerard sits up too, his back against the wall near the pillows. 

“Please listen-”

“I’m listening Gerard. I don’t deserve this- not now.” Frank is refusing to look at Gerard.

“You do! Frank, I can never take back the way I hurt you. You didn’t deserve that,” Gerard grabs Frank’s face, forcing him to look at him. “Frank, I li- I really think you deserve everything good in the world. I want to give you everything good in the world.” He leans forward and presses their lips together. 

It was warm, comfortable, but slimy at the same time. They both had been crying, but it’s everything magical Gerard expected. Frank’s stubble is sharp, but he doesn’t mind. Frank is kissing back eagerly, reaching up to cup Gerard’s face. 

They kiss softly until they need to pull away for air. Gerard looks at Frank, his face blissful, eyes shut. The light is dull, but Gerard can see the splay of his lashes, wet and soft against his face. He can almost imagine how pink his nose and cheeks are now.

Without opening his eyes, Frank whispers, “Kiss me again.”

Gerard smiles, almost too wide to even kiss him properly again, and leans forward to connect their lips. Frank suckles on his bottom lip, smiling into the kiss as well. 

“Lay down with me?” Gerard pulls him down so Frank is on top of him. They kiss lazily, over and over again until they’re breathless and too tired to hold their heads up. 

“I think I might need more convincing that I deserve you, Gee.”

Gerard chuckles, leaning his head into Frank’s. Gerard is on his back, Frank is on his stomach, pressed up against his chest so his face is beside Gerard’s. 

“I can’t wait to show you the love I want to give you… the love you deserve.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it :)
> 
> Im unsure as to whether or not I will add another part. Depends on if anyone likes it enough to convince me to do another...
> 
> -xosam


End file.
